Broken Garden of Glass
by yamashitakumiko
Summary: Eli invites Nozomi to get parfaits with her and to tell her something very important, but it's not what Nozomi expects.
1. Chapter 1

NozoEli Angst Fanfiction: One-Sided NozoEli, EliUmi, implied NicoMaki

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There might be more chapters than this, it just depends on how busy I am.

This is my first fanfiction (that I've posted). I ship NozoEli so hard, but since they're canon, I decided to do some angst because who doesn't love to crush their own heart with more sadness and hurt than they need?

I'm also currently ass-deep in Idol Hell so.. (yeah, I need Jesus. I get told that every day.)

Enjoy!

Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

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"Hey, Nozomi…" Eli walked up to Nozomi. She was sitting at her seat and was just catching up on some of her homework. She looked up into the eyes of her best friend. They shined in anxiety and her hands kept fidgeting. "I have something that I need to tell you… Can we get parfaits after school?" she nearly whispered.

"Sure," Nozomi cheerily responded. Maybe it was time, she thought. Eli wanted to talk to her privately, in their favorite café while eating parfaits. Nozomi's heart beat in anticipation and she couldn't stop thinking about all those years of longing. Maybe Eli had finally realized her own feelings for Nozomi.

Eli _had_ been acting a little jumpy recently. Maybe this was the cause. Eli returned to her seat and the day went on.

School passed agonizingly slow for Nozomi and she was so antsy and couldn't keep down her jitters. Her excitement was bubbling over and she grinned from ear to ear throughout the day. The day finally ended and she walked down the street and into the café with Eli. They took a seat at a booth and ordered their usual parfaits.

"As you may know," Eli started," I have been acting strange lately. I came to you because I know that only you would understand." Nozomi nodded her head, urging her to continue after the waitress had set down their parfaits. She had never seen Eli so nervous before.

"Well, it's because I'm in love with someone," she said, blushing. Nozomi's heart sang and her pulse grew exponentially. She clasped her hands together tightly and waited for her to continue. Time finally came for Eli to confess to her the same love that she herself had felt ever since they had met.

"She's just so amazing," she continued. "I love the way that she's just so calm all the time, and her steady voice during practice keeps me going." Nozomi suddenly became confused. Her hands clasped together even tighter. "She's just so cute when she is secretly practicing her poses when she thinks no one is looking and even when she's mad at Honoka for some reason."

"Wait, you mean-"

"Yes, I am in love with Umi," she finally confessed, blushing deep red. "I knew that only you could help me and tell me what to do."

Nozomi's hands unclasped and she realized that she had been squeezing them extremely hard. She donned a smile on her face and took one of Eli's hands in hers. She gave it a light squeeze and Eli looked up.

"You should tell her. If that's how you truly feel, then your feelings are bound to reach her," she said, gathering her things. She let go of Eli's hand rather suddenly and took out money to pay for both their parfaits.

"You're leaving?" Eli asked, rather dejectedly. "You haven't even touched your parfait."

"Yes, I have some things I need to take care of at home. You could invite Umi here and she can have my parfait." Nozomi looked away before Eli could see her tears and she began to walk away quickly.

On the way home, the tears couldn't seem to stop flowing. Nozomi felt quite guilty that she had felt so sad at Eli's newfound happiness. Eli had found the right person, after all. They suited each other well, both very intelligent and capable of anything and everything.

Nozomi unlocked her door and stepped inside the quiet house. She took of her shoes and closed the door. Slowly, the tears seemed to grow faster and she couldn't control her voice as she sobbed into her arms, sitting against the door. Her sleeves grew wet very quickly and she sat there for a while.

Soon, it was as if she couldn't cry anymore. Her tears had all been cried and she stood up. Nozomi walked over to a mirror, and her eyes were puffy and red. Her cheeks were red and so was her nose. It would probably be fine tomorrow. The end of the year was slowly coming to an end, and she needed to decide where she wanted to be in life. A heartbreak was no reason to miss school.

She practiced smiling in the mirror, and soon, she wore her smile like a perfect mask. She could've easily fooled herself, had it not been for her aching chest. Her laugh sounded a bit different, but it was okay. No one would really pay that much attention, anyways.

The next day, she woke up, and her eyes were no longer puffy nor red. Her face had cleared up and she decided that it was okay to go to school with a heartache. She got to school, but something was a little different. Eli wasn't with her. She wondered where she had went, and she realized that Eli had probably actually invited Umi to the cafe.

Nozomi had guessed right; Eli and Umi came walking in to the club room, hand-in-hand, the latter blushing noticeably harder than the former. Everyone was shocked and they had immediately come up to congratulate the new couple. Nozomi had put on a well-practiced smile, and walked up to both of them to give them a hug.

"Congratulations!" she told them. "I predict that you both will find happiness in your futures," she said, giggling. She walked back over to the other side of the long table, diagonal to where the two of them were sitting. Nico looked at her with one raised brow. Nozomi kept the same smiling face and feigned ignorance at the questioning looks.

Lunch arrived, and Nico and Maki had dragged Nozomi to the rooftop, requesting a "private tarot reading" from the master fortune teller. Nozomi sat down, and she got out her cards from her bag, and was starting her process, until Nico stopped her.

"Don't play dumb," she scolded her. "You know why we really dragged you up here."

"But I thought you guys wanted a tarot reading on your future as a couple. Would you like to see?" she grinned mischievously.

Nico faltered, but she regained her train of thought after Maki looked at her with a pointed stare.

"T-That's not why we're here," she said, her arms crossed. "Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"That Eli and Umi were gonna be together. Jeez, Nozomi. Stop acting dense," Maki jumped in. Even she was starting to get agitated.

"I did know," she told them in a quiet voice.

"W-WHAT?!" they shouted in unison. The pigeons that littered the roof took off all at once due to their sudden outburst. "When?!"

"Yesterday," she replied. "Eli told me when we went to get parfaits."

Nico looked at Maki, concerned. They seemed to be having a mental argument, and Maki won after many exaggerated movements and arm crosses. "How are you feeling?" Nico asked, finally.

"Me? I'm fine," she said with a smile. "Why do you ask?" Nozomi looked down and noticed that her hands were clasped together, tightly. She released her hands.

"Just stop it!" Nico yelled. "I know that you're really hurting inside," she said. Nozomi's head was still looking at her hands. "Look at me!" Nico shouted, exasperatedly.

Nozomi looked up and tears had formed. They slowly began to roll down her cheeks and her eyes were brimming with hurt. Nico's expression softened and she went over to Nozomi's side and hugged her. Nozomi turned to face her and she sobbed loudly into Nico's shoulders. Maki went to Nozomi's other side and she slowly stroked Nozomi's hair.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I actually didn't think that this many people would like it... :3 ALSO! I can't believe you guys are back for more angst? ? Thanks for the support anyways!

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Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

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The clacks of chalk filled the room as Nozomi looked out the window, pondering her choices. Her mind told her to leave the new couple and not disrupt their newfound peace, while her heart ached for Eli and yearned to express her feelings. She faintly heard her name being called, yet she ignored it and thought about Eli. How could she not notice? It had been so long since they met... How could she not notice her feelings?

It had been nearly a month, since Eli and Umi-chan had been going out, and yet those feelings would not leave her. They would not let her live in peace and they dominated her forethought, making it impossible to concentrate on anything else.

"Tojo-san!" yelled a very impatient teacher, for the 5th time. He pushed his glasses up his nose, and continued to lecture her. "Please focus on class and stop staring out that window. We are having a test on this soon, so please pay attention!" He turned his back to her, and continued to finish the problem on the board.

Nozomi went back to pondering her thoughts, until Eli nudged her. "H-Hey Nozomi, are you okay? You usually pay attention, is something the matter?"

At that, Nozomi wanted to tell her everything. Her heart cried for release and her body ached in response. The blood in her veins pumped a little faster. That steady heartbeat of hers beat faster. Her mind raced, searching for an answer, even though she knew that she had none.

"Yes, everything is okay. I'm just feeling a little sick," was her answer. Her face seemed to be unattached from her feelings, and it let out a mischievous grin. "Why? Is Eli worried about me?"

"Of course, Nozomi! You're my best friend. I wouldn't want you to get sick," she replied, sincerely. That was really a knife through the heart, Nozomi thought. She only thought of her as a best friend, and the worst part was how sincerely she said it. Those dazzling eyes and that fierceness that reached her. It was a wonder how all of μ's didn't fall for her.

"Of course," she replied in a small voice, turning away. The bell rang for lunch, and Nozomi ran out without hesitation. Her feet carried her all the way to the roof, not looking behind. Dropping her bag, she slid down and hugged her knees, her back against the fence. Her heartbeat slowed down and she released a long sigh. She suddenly heard some noises coming from the stairs, and she quickly jumped from her spot and grabbed her bag. The voices grew louder, and by the time she knew it, all of μ's had joined her on the roof.

Nico looked at Nozomi's bag in her hand with her eyebrow raised. "Going somewhere?"

"Yes," was her reply. "I-I've got a report due to one of my teachers," she lied. She plastered a smile on her face and Nico pulled her arm and she dragged her over to where everyone else was sitting.

"You are a horrible liar," Nico whispered.

"Today is a beautiful day," suddenly shouted Honoka. "I thought that we should join you outside, Nozomi!" They all looked at Nozomi, Eli's eyes piercing her harder than usual. She let out a nervous laugh.

"Of course, I was just trying to see if it was nice outside so I could invite you up here," she smiled. Her face was really hurting from all the fake smiles. She sat down next to Nico and began to eat her lunch. It was a simple lunch, as usual, and Nozomi was going to ask Eli to share some of her delicious lunch, until she remembered that she now shared it with Umi.

"N-Nozomi-chan," whispered Kotori. "Would you like to share some of my lunch?" she looked over at her sad senpai. Nozomi turned Kotori down, but she was thankful, nonetheless. After moments of silence from Nozomi, Kotori began to talk to her again, quietly.

"You know, Nozomi-chan, I was really surprised that Eli-chan asked Umi-chan out. I thought that she would ask you." Nozomi turned to face her, looking a little surprised. "Yes, I know that you love Eli-chan... It wasn't that hard to see," she giggled. Nozomi turned red and she continued eating her lunch.

Meanwhile, Eli looked over at Nozomi, wondering if she was okay. She had witnessed Kotori leaning over and whispering something into Nozomi's ear while Nozomi sat there, blushing. Something burned in her chest, and she was starting to wonder if she, herself, was okay. She was probably getting sick.

"Eli?" Umi asked. "Are you alright? You've been staring into space for quite some time," she said.

"I...I think I'm getting sick," replied Eli. Umi looked very concerned, and she leaned in close, resting her hand upon Eli's forehead to try and get her temperature.

"You feel very hot," whispered Umi. "Let's get you to the office...oh no! I still have to do student council work with Honoka," she said, frantically thinking.

"It's okay, Nozomi can take me." At that point, everyone had heard their conversation, and they had all stopped to see what they could do. At the mention of her name, Nozomi's face became a mask, and she smiled. She nodded and agreed to take Eli, fearing that if she had kept too much distance, she would notice her anguish. Nozomi had already internally resolved not to say anything because of her lack of courage, and her fear that their relationship would change very much so, when Eli rejects her.

"Hey, Nozomi," started Eli as she walked side by side with Nozomi. It had been silent for a long time. "D-Did I do something wrong?"

Nozomi looked over at her, and for a fleeting moment, she could finally see what was hiding behind that mask. All of her anguish and her pain had been spilling from her eyes, but as soon as it had come, it left. Her fake smile came back and it was as if she had never felt that pain.

"Of course not. Why would you think so?"

"You've just been so distant lately. I was starting to wonder..." she replied. Nozomi looked away and kept walking, one foot in front of the other.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she repeated. Eli looked a little joyful, and she looked at Nozomi.

"Well I'm glad. Now can we go back to how we were before? I miss getting parfaits with you," she said, dejectedly.

"We can get parfaits, again," Nozomi said. Eli's face lighted up, and she jumped over and gave Nozomi a big hug. It took Nozomi all of her willpower not to kiss Eli, right then and there, so she pushed Eli away, softly. She gave Eli a rehearsed smile, and in Eli's dazzling nature, she received an even bigger smile.

"Here is the nurse's office. Will you be okay on your own?" Nozomi asked.

"I don't know," Eli replied. "Can you stay with me?"

Nozomi's heart clenched and had to restrain with much difficulty from jumping right out and complying. She took a breath, and painfully looked away. "I'll stay with you."

She opened the door for Eli, and gave her a hand inside the small room.

"Hey, Nozomi?" quietly asked Eli.

"Yes?"

"Can we get parfaits after school today?"

"Of course."


	3. Chapter 3

NozoEli Angst Fanfiction: One-Sided NozoEli, EliUmi

A/N: Gotta apologize to my editor =^= I played a prank on her because... actually idk why I did it(lol) BUT! We celebrated her birthday this weekend so happy birthday! /o\\\ Anyways thanks for reading!

Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

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There was an uncomfortable silence as they sat in the booth. Both their parfaits were untouched and Nozomi looked anywhere but at Eli. It was similar to last time and Nozomi's heart was still racing. Her hands were clasped tightly and no one dared breathe.

"I'm feeling better, in case you wanted to know," said Eli after looking at her for a long time. "It was because you stayed with me and helped me get better," she tried to lighten the mood with a little playful banter. And she got was a small head nod.

"Please talk to me," Eli begged. "I don't feel the same without you."

Nozomi finally looked up at her and she offered a practiced smile. It seemed that she had no worries at all and she looked at Eli, right in the eyes. She hadn't done that in a long time.

"Sorry, Elichi! Did I worry you?" she giggled. "I was just a little troubled with homework, is all," she smiled sheepishly.

"Alright," Eli said. "If that's all, then we should go out on the weekends and spend time together like we used to."

"Ah, but those weekends should be reserved for Umi-chan," she giggled, teasingly. She could feel her heart clench and contract painfully. Her hands were on her lap now, and they were squeezing so hard that her hands started to hurt.

"I know, but-"

"No buts! You and Umi-chan seem really happy together, and I would never want to get in the way of that!" Her nails dug into her skin, drawing blood.

"Well I should spend some time with you," Eli said. "Best friends should spend time together, regardless of who they're dating."

It was that word again. _Best friends_. That's all they'd ever be. Nozomi finished up her parfait, and she put some money on the table.

"I'm paying again, and there will be no objections," she said, finally. As she held out her hand to put it on the table, Eli noticed the fingernail marks and the droplets of blood on her hand. She grabbed it and held on tight, not letting Nozomi pull it away from her.

"Nozomi! What happened?"

"A-Ah, it's nothing, Elichi," she said, nervously. Eli frowned at her and didn't believe a word she said. "Really," Nozomi started to say. "I-I just tripped and my hands broke my fall."

"That's not marks that you would get from a fall," Eli remarked. "Those are fingernail marks."

"You're wrong. Those are scratches from when I fell," she said as she forcefully yanked her hand away. She stood up abruptly, and began to walk away, until Eli grabbed her sleeve and stopped her from walking out. Nozomi turned around, and her face was flushed and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Nozomi! I don't know what is going on with you, but you have to talk to me!" Eli yelled. She saw Nozomi flinch at her sudden raise of her voice. "Please tell me," she whispered.

"It's really nothing, Elichi," she said, giving a sad smile. Nozomi could feel her perfect mask start to crack. If she didn't leave Eli's presence soon, she would crumble. She ran out and Eli didn't run out after her. She slumped back down in the booth and sighed, unsure of what to do. Then, Eli took out her phone and called Nico.

"Hello? This is super Idol Nico-Nico-Nii! What can I do for you, my super fan?" she answered energetically.

"U-Um, this is Eli," she responded, hesitantly.

"Oh." Nico sounded disappointed. "Well, what do you want, then?"

"Could you meet me at the café?"

"The one that you go to with Nozomi?"

"Yeah."

Nico hung up before saying anything and was there within minutes.

"What happened?" Nico inquired. "It's about Nozomi, isn't it?"

"H-How did you know?" Eli asked. Nico rolled her eyes.

"You don't know why she's upset and distant with you, and she probably just walked out of here looking depressed. You called me for help because even though you are her best friend, you have no idea what's going on with her, and you think that I know what's going on with her, because she confides in me a lot of things, correct?" Nico said, looking annoyed.

"Did Nozomi tell you all of that?" Eli asked, half worried, and half in awe.

"She didn't have to tell me anything. It was totally obvious and you need to figure this one out yourself," she said, annoyed.

"Well then, why did you come?"

"Because, it was on the way."

"On the way to where?"

"Nozomi's house. I need to go comfort her, and no, you cannot come." She left with Eli objecting, but she didn't chase after Nico.

Nico arrived at Nozomi's house and gave the door three sharp taps.

"It's Nico. Open the door," she demanded, leaving no room for objection.

Nozomi opened the door. The chain prevented it from opening all the way and also prevented Nico from pushing her way in. Her face was puffy and she was dressed in her loungewear.

"Did you need something?"

"Open up so I can come in."

"What did you need?"

"Open the door." Nozomi closed it to release the chain, and she opened it so that Nico could come inside. As soon as she came in, she gave Nozomi a big hug. Then, she took her face in her hands, and she squeezed her face, making Nozomi have a duck face.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Nico asked. She released her face from the deadly grasp of the shorter girl.

"What do you mean?" Nozomi asked, as she closed the door.

"I mean with Eli. You are so dead set in putting her first, that you are completely ignoring yourself! It's really pissing me off," she practically yelled.

"But I'm not, though. I'm taking care of myself. My grades are fine and I'm perfectly healthy."

"Jeez, Nozomi, I thought we had gotten past this 'lying to Nico' phase."

"I'm not lying!" Nozomi protested.

"I knew this would happen," she muttered. Nico finally noticed Nozomi's scratched hands. "What happened here?"

"Nothing."

"Was this when you were talking with Eli, earlier?"

"No."

"Why were you upset when you talked to her?"

"No reason."

"Lying to me, again?" Nico sighed, sitting down on the couch, and looked at her. She held out her hands so that she could bandage it. Nozomi reluctantly gave her her hands, and instead of taking them gently, she yanked her arms down so that Nozomi could lean on her. It was silent.

"You can cry, now," Nico whispered. With those words, Nozomi's mask crumbled to dust and her tears came rushing down. She cried softly into Nico's embrace and Nico closed her eyes. Her heart cried for Nozomi and they sat there.

Nico began to bandage her hands and by then, Nozomi had stopped crying.

"Are you even going to tell her?" Nico asked. Nozomi shook her head.

"They're fine just the way they are. I don't want Eli's last year in high school to be ruined because of me. She works so hard all the time and she deserves good memories," Nozomi said, smiling.

"So do you," said Nico, exasperatedly. "You work so hard all the time and you think that nobody sees you working hard, but everyone does. No one expected Eli to ask Umi out, and no one expected her to say yes! So please," Nico begged, "let yourself have good memories too. Your last year should be amazing as well."

"This is why I should have been more discreet about it. I'm just causing everyone trouble, and especially yo-"

"Just stop it!" The silence was deafening. "I care about you, and so does everyone else. We all notice it, so stop pretending. The only one who doesn't seem to get it, is Eli. Who knows why? She is your best friend, and she could be more, if you just did something about it!"

"Please just leave it alone," Nozomi asked, tears forming in her eyes again. Nico looked at her and her heart broke at the sight of one of her best friends reduced to this.

"Fine. But you have to promise me that you will stop lying to me. Got it?"

"Fine."


	4. Chapter 4

NozoEli Angst Fanfiction: One-Sided NozoEli, EliUmi

A/N: Oh gosh, I'm into ANOTHER game… (It's called Mystic Messenger) How am I ever gonna find sleep with all these time-consuming games just calling my name? TBH I keep forgetting that I made an EliUmi thing in here (whoops) so I'll try to add some stuff. PLZ FORGIVE MEE!

Anyways! Thanks for reading again! I don't really know how many chapters will be left or how long I'm gonna extend each "scene", but I plan to finish this series, so keep a lookout!

Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

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The holidays had come around at a fast pace. All of μ's had decided to throw a party and have secret santas. Of course, they would have gifts for everyone else, as well. It was after practice, one day, and Honoka decided to put everyone's name in a hat and pick randomly. If they got themselves, they could just put it back and choose again. This present would be given and opened in front of the rest of the group, not secretly, because Honoka decided that it would be more exciting that way, and that the person could properly thank their Santa.

Nozomi's hand rummaged around the hat, humming as she searched for her lucky recipient. Her hand pulled out a small slip of paper with the name Kotori on it. She giggled quietly to herself and passed the hat on to Umi. Eli looked over at Nozomi, a little sad that she didn't seem to be affected by their fight. Nozomi could sense Eli's eyes, but she didn't look back at her. It was too painful. Her chest wouldn't stop aching and her eyes couldn't stop yearning for Eli. It was too dangerous to look at her.

Umi had picked her name and she, too, was smiling about the name she got. She passed the hat down onto Eli, who was nervous. Not many names were in the pile left, and she was nervous about what to do if she had gotten Nozomi. Of course, she was her best friend, and she wouldn't complain, but the question was burning a hole in her. How do I make her forgive me with this gift?

Of course, may not end that way. She could just pick Umi, or Honoka and the gift would be platonic. But then she would have to worry about what to get Nozomi as a normal gift. The thoughts filled around her head, making her slightly dizzy. She shook the thoughts out, and she pulled out a slip of paper. Her stomach dropped.

Nozomi.

Of course it was her. The person whose luck was infinite. The person whose "spiritual powers" were unchallenged in all the land. The gods were cursing her, telling her off for making Nozomi sad. Eli looked over at her, once more, and Nozomi was threatening Honoka to stop asking her about her secret santa, or she would give her a special "Washi Washi Max Attack." Eli laughed at the sight, and in that moment, it was as if everything was okay. She could see that Nozomi was happy again and unfazed. In a sudden, she snapped back into reality. It was time to think about her gift.

What could she possibly get? Nozomi had the capabilities to get anything she wanted, on her own, so why did it feel like so much pressure? She would understand the pressure if she had picked Umi's name. She was her girlfriend, after all. But Nozomi was her best friend. It felt like any ordinary gift would not work, for some reason. Many thoughts filled her head, again, and she put her head in her arms. She felt like she was going to cry.

Then, she felt a poke on her shoulder. She looked up, and Umi was there. She was surprised that Umi was at such a close proximity, and to surprise her even more, she gave Eli a long kiss, right there. By the time they had broke the kiss, Umi's face was red, and Eli's face was impossibly redder.

"Y-You looked like you needed it, Eli," blushed Umi. "I just wanted you to feel better, is all." Eli looked at Umi and smiled.

"It really did. Thank you," she whispered as she stood up to give Umi a kiss on her forehead. As she did, Nozomi and her eyes clicked and the room was suddenly so real. Everything was so sudden and what she was doing felt wrong. Nozomi's eyes got suddenly cloudy, and she abruptly left the room. It wasn't until the door had clicked that Eli had released Umi from her hold. Umi was blushing even redder than Eli, and she was looking at the floor, the table, anywhere but Eli. It seemed like everyone was doing that with her, these days. Eli sat back down at the table, suddenly really unsure of what to do.

The school week had passed by in an instant, and Eli hadn't spoken a single word, since that day. Eli had attempted to make eye contact, or communicate in some way, but to no avail. Her efforts seemed to bounce right back, like trying to talk to a mirror. Nozomi was relatively friendly with everyone else, but she was still acting distant. She hung around with Nico and Maki during their lunches. If she was by herself, Kotori would come over and talk to her. That made Eli feel a pang in her heart. Nozomi was hurting and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

That Saturday, she was moping around her house, until Alisa, her younger sister, snapped her out of it.

"Are you still fighting with Nozomi-senpai?" she demanded.

"H-How did you know?" she asked, groaning. Everyone seemed to know.

"You only act this way if you have made her mad or you haven't talked to her for a long time," Alisa responded. "Come on," she urged, "let's go to the mall. You still need to buy Nozomi a gift for Christmas, right?"

Eli nodded and she proceeded to get dressed. They walked around the mall for a relatively long time, Alisa trying to give suggestions while Eli shot them all down. "Nozomi already has that," she would say. "Nozomi doesn't like that kind of stuff." "That's too cheap for Nozomi." Eli was getting tired and she wanted to just lie around the house again.

"Nozomi this! Nozomi that! Get a grip, Eli! She is your best friend! To be completely honest, I thought you liked her more than as a friend, until you asked Umi out. Even when that whole situation started, you still talked about Nozomi nonstop! Just think! What would Nozomi really appreciate?" Alisa half whispered and half yelled. They were drawing some attention, but Eli didn't care. She had caught onto an idea and she knew it would be the perfect gift for her. Alisa smiled at her contemplations and she was satisfied. She liked Umi, and all, but it was so painfully obvious who her elder sister should be with. She couldn't imagine what Nozomi was feeling at the moment.

"I got it!" Eli suddenly exclaimed.

"Then let's go get it!" Alisa shouted.

Christmas seemed to come extremely fast, that year. Eli was actually dreading going to the party, fearing that Nozomi would hate her present. She was thinking about faking an illness that she wouldn't want to spread around to her friends, but Alisa refused to let her.

"If you don't go, Nozomi won't have the same amounts of presents as everyone else, and that wouldn't be fair, would it?"

Eli looked disgusted at her little sister's perfect reasoning. "Why are you so cunning?" she asked. Alisa only smiled and pushed her out the door, locking it so that Eli couldn't come back inside. Alisa had prepared the presents by leaving them outside. It was snowing, and Honoka's mother was going to be by to pick her up. It was going to be a long night.

Eli bowed as she entered the house, leaving her shoes at the door, and walked into the cozy home. It smelled delicious and the scent of candy smelled her nostrils. She looked over and saw Umi, walking towards her with a stick of mistletoe. Eli tilted her head in confusion, until Umi waved it over their heads and blushing furiously.

"I-I have only learned of this, now, but I heard that if two people are under mistletoe, they have to kiss," she whispered, quite embarrassed. Eli smiled kindly and her face turned hot. Was it strange that her heart did not race? She could sense Umi's heavy breathing, but she, herself, did not feel that way. It was okay, right? She leaned forwards to give her a kiss. The bell of the door could be heard ringing when their lips touched. It seemed that the person who had just walked in hadn't taken of their shoes yet, and it seemed that they were waiting for something. Eli turned around to see who it was, and to her great surprise, it was Nozomi.

Her heart sped up incredibly and she realized that her heart was beating so fast, it was almost painful. She could hear her heartbeats and her head pulsated, as she looked at Nozomi, who had her head hung low. She bowed, took off her shoes, and walked right in, past Eli and Umi. Eli felt lost, again. She hadn't seemed to shake off that feeling, since she told Nozomi of her love for Umi.

She walked into the room where everyone else was with Umi right behind her. Nozomi was sitting quite far from the door, talking with Nico. She seemed tired, almost exhausted. A table stood between them, preventing her from running over and taking Nozomi from Nico's arms and announcing that only she had the right to hug Nozomi like that.

Or did she…?

"I don't know how long I can keep this up," she heard Nozomi telling Nico.

"Don't keep it up. Just let it out," Nico responded, quietly. She pulled Nozomi in for a hug, and she realized that Eli was watching them. "Don't look now, but Eli is watching us. She looks kind of angry," she whispered. Nozomi sniffled. Eli turned her head and sat down at the table. Everyone started to assemble around the table, putting their presents in front of themselves and getting ready to hand them out. They all decided, through a general consensus, that Honoka should be the first to receive her gift. Kotori blushed, and she handed a small orange package to Honoka, who accepted it with a blush, as well. She tore through the paper, and it revealed a small box embroidered in golden decorations. Everyone gasped at the delicate beauty.

"It's a jewelry box," Kotori said, smiling. "There's something inside, too," she told Honoka, urging her to open the box. Honoka's hands were steady as she lifted the lid of the delicate box. Inside contained a card, which she gingerly removed.

Free Bread for 12 Months!

Honoka's eyes grew wide and tears formed in her eyes. "Kotori-chan! How did you know?" she asked excitedly.

"H-Honoka-chan, it was pretty obvious," she laughed. Everyone laughed with her, and the spirits of the room were immediately lifted.

"Well, now that Kotori has given her gift, it is time for her to receive one!" Honoka shouted, still holding her bread card.

"That would be me!" Nozomi giggled, raising a hand. Kotori was sitting across from her, so Nozomi pushed a silver package in front of her. It was very big, and it seemed extremely heavy. Kotori looked at it hesitantly, knowing Nozomi's tendency to give odd gifts, like spiritual masks, and such. She had tenderly removed the wrapping, and she looked at the box. It read "Sewing Machine" in big bold letters on the front.

"Nozomi-chan! It's perfect!" Kotori squealed. Nozomi made a satisfied sound.

"Of course it is, Kotori. I consulted my cards and they told me that you had been needing a new one. After all, you need it to continue making amazing costumes," she giggled. Kotori ran to the other side of the table, and jumped over to hug Nozomi. Nozomi accepted it with a kind smile, and Kotori returned to her side of the table.

"Now," Honoka said, "it's time for Nozomi to receive her present!"

"T-That would be me," Eli said, nervously raising her hand up. She was also on the other side of the table from Nozomi, but instead of sliding it to her, she got up and she handed it to Nozomi, personally. Nozomi still, after all that time, still refused to look her in the eyes as she took the small package with a small "thank you." Eli sat next to her, not going back to her side of the table, and Nozomi seemed to distance herself as she opened the lavender gift.

Inside the wrapper contained a black velvet box. Nozomi eyed Eli suspiciously, and opened the box. It was a beautiful golden ring, shaped like a crown. The room was silent for a long time.

Nozomi was speechless and her heart swelled. She immediately shut the box and clutched it against her chest. She nearly tripped, trying to run outside the room to escape her true feelings.

"N-Nozomi!" calls out Eli. She feels a forceful push, and she turns around.

"Go after her," Nico says, annoyed. Eli nods, and runs out after Nozomi, frantic to get to her. Nozomi was in the doorway of a room, clutching the box in her hands so tightly that her hands were starting to hurt. Her head was hung, and she was sniffling.

"Are you okay?" Eli approached her. She stood opposite of Nozomi, taking in the uncomfortable silence. Nozomi said nothing and continued to sniffle and dry her tears with the back of her hand. They didn't seem to end.

"You seem to be crying a lot, these days," Eli said. More silence screamed into their ears.

"...you," Nozomi muttered.

"S-Sorry, I didn't quite get that. What did you say?" Eli says, nervously.

"It's because of you!" Nozomi shouts. It was a miracle that the rest of μ's didn't hear her. Eli's head hangs, as well. She then takes the box from Nozomi's hand, having to tug because of Nozomi's strong grip. She opens the box, and removes the ring.

Slowly, she takes one hand into hers, and gingerly slips the ring on to her middle finger. Every breath could be heard. She showed her hand, presenting the same ring on her middle finger. Nozomi casted her eyes downwards, once again, and this time, Eli lifted Nozomi's chin up.

"Stop looking down," Eli whispered. She smiled kindly, looking into Nozomi's emerald eyes. They shone in the moonlight. She noticed Nozomi's eyes roaming upward. Her eyes followed the same gaze, and she saw mistletoe, hanging from the doorway. She laughed quietly at it and just as she was about to look at Nozomi, she felt a soft pair of lips, dangerously close to her own pair of lips.

They were so soft. Eli closed her eyes, and took in the feeling of it all. She could smell the scent of Nozomi's lavender shampoo and the smell of her lip gloss. Her heart was beating so fast that she didn't know if it was possible. Umi had never made her feel this way. She had opened her eyes, and Nozomi was no longer there. She hadn't noticed her returning to the room, just as she hadn't noticed the way she felt about Nozomi, before.

* * *

A/N: this lazy writer has finally decided to get off her lazy ass and write a long chapter for once

MY HANDS ARE SHAKING  
WHAT HAVE I DONE..?


	5. Chapter 5

NozoEli Angst Fanfiction: One-Sided(?) NozoEli, EliUmi

* * *

A/N: aaaaaandd I'm back! I'm really sorry for the long gap…. I don't really have an excuse sooo

also sorry it's kind of a short chapter.. I'm just a mess.. I reread my other chapters and thEY'RE SO TERRIBLE LIKE I CAN'T DO GRAMMAR WHAT IS MY LIFE.

For that one Umi-angst person, the next chapter will be an Umi chapter so look forwards to that!

Other than that, please enjoy!

Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

* * *

Eli hadn't spoken a word. The whole month had nearly passed, since the Christmas party. Nozomi glanced over many times, throughout the whole day, and Eli hadn't glanced back. It was pretty rare for Eli not to be so involved in the activities of μ's. She mostly kept her head down and continued to do her student council work, silently, next to Nozomi. By what she had heard, Umi-chan was also extremely worried about their relationship. One day, about a week after the Christmas party, Eli had requested a day off from practice. It was an extremely strange request from Eli, considering that she had never missed a practice and she was the one who always pushed them. Instead, they just worked on costume ideas with Kotori. Umi had consulted everyone, then, asking for help.

They hadn't talked or made any kind of contact, that week. Umi was so afraid that she had done something wrong. They all tried to calm her down, including Nozomi. She couldn't do much because she was also in love with Eli, and trying to soothe her only hurt more.

"Nozomi, please visit her," Umi said, tears clouding her eyes. "You are very close with her, and I think you understand her more than I do. As I am an amature in this field, I think it would be best if you talked to her." Her head drooped and she didn't look at Nozomi, after that. Nozomi suddenly felt so guilty. She felt guilty for having such feelings for Eli. She felt guilty for looking at Eli the way she did. She felt guilty for kissing her, during the party. Umi looked exactly how Nozomi felt at the start of their relationship.

All Nozomi could do was nod.

"I'll visit her, today, after school," she said, refusing to make eye contact. Umi nodded and walked off, joining Kotori in her class. Nozomi had considered praying to the gods, with all her might, to let the day pass slowly. Perhaps Eli would show up at school, later, so she wouldn't have such an awkward encounter with her.

It was almost as if she hadn't prayed at all. She consulted her cards, and they told her that she would see a difficult path ahead of her. The gods were pushing her towards Eli, and though she was somewhat grateful, she didn't feel like it was the right time. It probably would never be the right time for her.

The walk to her house was lonely and agonizing for her. Eli hadn't walked home with her much, after confessing to Umi. They had spent their time afterschool going to new cafes and trying new things. It was at this point that Nozomi began to start panicking. She could just pretend not to feel well, or she could just call instead.

Then, she remembered her promise to Umi. She sighed as she approached Eli's house and she took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. Her finger gingerly pushed the doorbell, and she had to ring it again because she had pushed it too softly.

The door swung open and there stood Alisa, looking hopeful. As soon as her eyes took in the figure that stood before her, she nearly jumped up for joy.

"Thank goodness you're here!" Alisa yelled. "Come on in, Nozomi," she said, widening the door for her. Nozomi bowed as she entered, and waited for Alisa.

"U-Um, is Eli here?" she timidly asked.

"Eli is upstairs in her room. She was pouting for a long time," she said in a low whisper. "I think it's because of you," she added, smirking. Nozomi deeply blushed and didn't meet Alisa's eyes. "Onee-san! Nozomi-san is here!" she yelled. No sounds could be heard. Alisa rolled her eyes, again. She motioned for Nozomi to follow her up the stairs. They walked up and they stopped at Eli's door, where Alisa left Nozomi to try and coerce her into letting her in.

Nozomi's hands shook as she knocked softly on the door. "Eli-chi? It's me," she whispered. Once more, no sounds could be heard. She continued to talk to the door. "I am really sorry that we haven't been talking more. I just really think you should spend time with Umi more, seeing as she is your girlfriend and all…" she trailed off. The door cracked open and there stood Eli. She had her pajamas on and looked down.

"...in a long time," was all that could be heard by Nozomi.

"I couldn't hear you," Nozomi whispered.

"You haven't called me Eli-chi in a long time."

"Oh." Nozomi felt a bit glad that Eli missed her unique nickname. "May I come in?" Eli nodded and let her through the door. It closed behind her and Eli motioned for her to sit on her bed. Her room wasn't much, just some decorations and a few pictures. Nozomi noticed that there were a lot of pictures of the two of them. She cracked a smile.

When Eli took a seat next to Nozomi, she tensed up. All the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she felt as if she couldn't breath.

"I missed you," said Eli. Nozomi nodded and played with her fingers. Her breath hitched when Eli's head softly rested on her shoulder. Nozomi's usual sensitivity increased tenfold. Her heart rate increased exponentially and she could feel Eli's hair tickling her face.

"Can I tell you something?" Nozomi whispered. Eli shot straight up and looked her dead in the eyes.

"You're finally talking to me," she whispered back. Nozomi's hands were turning a pale shade and she was shaking. She took Eli's face in her hands and she drew an extended breath.

"I have been needing to say something," she started. Eli placed her hands on top of Nozomi's and Nozomi looked down at her lap. "I think I should have said this a long time ago, but I am a coward. I waited until it was too late, and I still expected to get what I wanted." She paused, and looked back up at Eli's patient face. She was so adorable, like that. A fierceness raged in her eyes and she looked intent on hearing her out.

"Eli-chi," she breathed, "I'm in love with you." She tried to remove her hands from Eli's face, but Eli held her hands still.

"Your hands are cold, you know that?" she said. "How will they warm up if I don't hold them?" she asked her, rubbing circles on the back of Nozomi's hands. Nozomi turned red and cast her eyes away from Eli's face. She kept tugging on her hands and refused to meet Eli's eyes.

"Did you even hear what I said?" Nozomi demanded, only half-heartedly.

"Of course I heard what you said."

The silence crept into the room and filled every inch of the room.

"I'm sorry," Eli murmured. "After all this time, I never really looked at you and saw how you felt." Tears threatened to fall from Nozomi's eyes. This time, she caught Eli unaware and she slipped her hands from Eli's own. The tears seemed to pay no attention to Nozomi's dignity and they fell fast.

"Wait, where are you going?" Eli demanded. "You are being extremely unfair, right now."

"I'm being unfair?" Nozomi asked, exasperatedly. She stood up and paced around the room. "You are being unfair!" she almost shouted. "I didn't know how obvious I could possibly make it! I have been in love with you for the longest time and you didn't even see! You tell me, of all people, that you're in love with someone else, and I have to sit there and take it because I am your best friend. A _best friend_. That's all I will ever be, so don't try to tell me that I'm being unfair." Tears were running now and they fell onto her uniform.

"I'm sorry," Eli said. Her head hung low and paid no attention to the Nozomi that was walking closer to her.

"Don't be," she sniffled and sat down next to Eli, again. "I should be the sorry one. I just barge into your house and I confess to you, even when you have a girlfrie-"

"Stop!" Eli yelled, rising from her spot. "I hate it when you say that. 'Girlfriend.'"

"Why?" Nozomi asked, tears not stopping.

"Because that's not your title," she whispered, looking straight into Nozomi's emerald eyes. She cast her eyes downwards, and this time, Eli didn't let her. She used the tip of her finger to lift Nozomi's head.

"Stop looking down," she said, kindly. "I won't be able to see how beautiful you are."

"You're so mean," Nozomi complained. "I confess to you and you tease me like this."

"Who said I was teasing you? I love you so much" Eli whispered, leaning forwards. This time, her lips met Nozomi's own pair of soft lips. They tasted of cotton candy and she breathed in her smell. She savored the taste of her lips. There were no longer just butterflies in her stomach. They had turned into fireworks. They broke for air and they touched their foreheads together. Nozomi's tears had stopped and she was biting her lower lip.

"I would love to kiss you again, but you have to tell Umi. This isn't fair to her," Nozomi said, feeling so guilty once again. Eli nodded in agreement. Then, Eli wrapped her arms around Nozomi and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm gonna have to tell her tomorrow."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: ummmmmm so I noticed that I didn't get an update on my e-mail when I uploaded the new chapter, sorry 'bout that! This is basically just a test to see if it will send a notification..

Also if you didn't read my other note sorry about not posting in a (long ass) while... I don't have an excuse really and so my editor kicked my ass into writing the 5th chapter... I'm working on the Umi chapter now and idk how long it will take but with AP testing out of the way (fuck you AP Euro, i got form O I SHOULD GET A REFUND OIJLSDKJFAL), I will probably be less busy.

Thanks for continuing to support my story!


	7. Real Chapter 6

NozoEli Angst FanFiction: One-Sided NozoEli, EliUmi

A/N: haha welcome back to me.. let's see where this story takes us now, shall we?

and to that one person who said "rip some random ll chapter"...

*big breath*

NOZOELI WILL NEVER DIE

(in my mind at least)

Disclaimer! I do not own Love Live! or any of the characters. Any resemblance of an actual person or event is purely coincidental.

* * *

The rest of the day passed slowly for Umi. She couldn't focus on her archery nor her homework; it was all very stressful for her. Eli would have been there for her, but she wasn't even there to begin with. Umi lay on her bed, clutching a pillow as tightly as she could manage.

Every time her eyes closed, she imagined the scene, over and over again. Long purple hair, beautiful golden locks, close together. Too close. She saw Eli's expression. It was not one that she had ever seen before. Her eyes fluttered open and there were tears in her eyes. She thought everything was fine between the two of them, but apparently not to Eli. Umi never thought she could feel this much negative feelings about a person before, especially her senpai. Nozomi had always been the one to take care of them and to show them love and affection.

She couldn't hold it in, anymore, and with a great breath, she cried.

The sky was unusually blue, the next day, and Eli felt extremely nervous. She felt guilty towards both Umi and Nozomi, and she didn't know what she was going to do, but the least she could do was be honest with Umi. She had texted Umi the night before, after Nozomi had left, and asked her to meet on the rooftop during lunch time. There was no response, so all Eli could hope for was for her to show up anyways. Nozomi made sure to stay far from Eli until she told the truth, for there was too much temptation, and so the day was uneventful for. There was no slowing time down. By the time she knew it, the school bell rang for lunch and Eli hesitantly made her way to the rooftop.

There stood Umi.

Her eyes were dull and the bags under them were dark. Her hair was unruly and she seemed to have been crying.

"Umi," Eli hesitantly said.

"Hello, Eli," Umi quietly murmured.

The silence was deafening. Not one motion was made and the cool breeze helped mask the sounds of their rapidly beating hearts.

"Umi, I have to apologize to you," Eli started. There was no response from the other party, so she continued. "I have been a very bad girlfriend to you and you didn't deserve this at all." More silence followed. "I really have no excu-"

"Please, Eli. Don't force yourself," Umi gulped. Her heart was so loud, in contrast to her soft voice. "May I ask why you why you chose me in the first place?" She struggled to get the question out without her pausing to cry. Her voice shook with every word.

"I-I was at a confusing time in my life," Eli admitted. "I don't know why I did this and I feel terrible for making you experience something like this. I-I mean this is an experience we can both learn fr-"

"Don't." Umi whispered. "Don't try to excuse yourself from this to make yourself feel less guilty. Do you know how much pain I feel?" Her voice was quiet but her words screamed at Eli.

"No. I can't possibly know." Silence seemed to stalk the both of them.

"I see." Umi looked at Eli's feet. "I have only one request for you, then."

"Yes, Umi, anything at all."

"Don't treat Nozomi the way you treated me." And with that, she left the rooftop. She stayed behind the door, just to see what kind of reaction Eli would have. It was hard to keep quiet because of her quiet sobs, but she managed. There was nothing. No sound. No cries. No running back for her. Umi understood that that was what it was, and it was impossible to change. She left.

Eli crouched down, numb. She couldn't cry, she couldn't feel pain, she couldn't sympathize with Umi as hard as she tried.

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A/N: welp. How mean am I to leave you guys like this?

i feel like a terrible person waaaaaaaaaaaahhh


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